Morning Light
by BellaCullen1994
Summary: Thanks to irunwithvampires & mz.cullenn from the Twilight Lexicon for ideas with this story & help editing.
1. Regrets

He stopped the car in front his house where we now sat. He turned his head to look at me, our eyes met. His liquid topaz eyes gazed at me, but something left me uneasy. One day left before our wedding.

"Are you okay Bella?" He asked cautiously, changing his expression.

I looked away from him, now out the window, into the sea of green beyond the house.

"I'm fine. Just thinking."

I could feel his eyes studying my face in the window, looking for an explanation.

"What are you thinking about so hard?"

"A lot of stuff."

"Specify please."

"Look, it's nothing. Can we please change the subject?" It wasn't nothing. Tomorrow was the last day with Charlie, with Renee, my last real day as a human.

"Okay. Are you ready to go in? Alice is waiting for you to try out new hairstyles."

I looked over at him. He gave me a crooked smile. I gave a weak smile back, still uneasy inside.

"Fine." I groaned & reached for the door.

The door was suddenly tugged away by Edward. He had already escaped from the car & made his way to my door. His outstretched arm in front of me, I put my hand in his, chills ran up my arm from his cold, marble fingers, now intertwined with mine. Shutting the door behind me, Edward walked to the door with me trailing behind. He came to a sudden stop. Now gazing back at me.

He squeezed my hand as his other arm moved from at his side, gently to behind my back. He pulled me in closer pressing his lips against mine. He pulled away slightly & whispered in my ear.

"I love you, Bella." The cool air blew into my ears.

I stood on my toes & moved my lips closer to his ear.

"I love you too, Edward."

He leaned his head in & kissed me. I took my hand that was not occupied in Edward's & placed it behind Edward's neck. His cool lips were gentle against mine, but his mind was elsewhere – trying to figure out where mine had been earlier. He suddenly pulled away.

"You shouldn't keep Alice waiting." He looked at me with disappointment on his face.

"Why not?" He still held me close, my heart still racing from the kiss.

"Because you don't have much time." He smiled with delight.

"We have all day." I felt like I was missing out on an inside joke or something.

"No. You have until seven."

"What happens at seven?"

"We're going to spend some time together before…" His voice trailed off making me more curious than I already was," I have a surprise for you. I think you'll like it." He grinned at the knowledge he had over me. I stared at him without a smile on my face.

I could not let the worrying thoughts escape my mind. I was unsure of tomorrow, of the day after, of my transformation, of anything. I had no idea of what to expect & now a surprise. How would I be able to handle leaving Renee, whom was so involved with my life before, leaving Charlie, who was so involved in my life _now_? Aside from what I was leaving behind I feared what would happen in my future. What would happen when I change? Who will I be? My thoughts began to wonder to Jacob when Edward jumped in.

"Are you nervous?" He asked, still trying to find the subject that preoccupied my mind.

"Alice is waiting & we don't have much time." I quickly changed the subject.

Nervous was one way to describe it. Terrified would work too. There was no way to tell him without an overreaction. I couldn't express a doubt in marrying him this close to the actual date. It was all pre-wedding jitters anyway. No point in being so dramatic. Just ignore it & it will go away, though that had not been the case in my past, it would apply here, for my benefit.

"Bella, please." I turned towards the door, his iron-strength hands caught my shoulders & turned me to face him. His hands slid down the sides of my body & met behind my back where he locked his fingers together. He leaned in & kissed me unlike before. He was more passionate, persuasive. He kissed me in way so irresistible. My heart began to race, my face became red, he continued to pull me in tighter, my body bound to his by his hands. I pulled away, gasping for air. He still held me in his arms. I rested my arms on his shoulders & laid my head against his chest.

"You can tell me anything. Please." His cool breath against my hot, red cheeks made me shiver. He was hard to resist, harder when he pleaded with me.

"Edward. It's nothing. Please don't worry about me. Weren't you, Emmett & Jasper going to go out together or something anyway?" I tried so hard to change the subject before he pressed for answers.

His hands separated & pulled my arms down, away from him. I stood on my own, looking down at my feet, glancing upward, back at him, he began to shake his head, grimacing.

"Bella, I really want to know. Why do you have to be so stubborn?" Not knowing began to hurt him.

"Why must you know?"

"Because I care about you. I can't bear not knowing what could be going through your head that has… has…" He searched for words to describe me. "I just want to know. Is that so terrible?"

"Edward. I promise it's nothing to worry about. If I still have it on my mind tonight, I'll tell you." I looked at him wearily, looking for some sort of common ground, an impasse.

"Tonight." He repeated, grasping the words. "Bella, It's just hard not knowing. I want you to be happy."

"I _am_ happy." It wasn't a _complete_ lie. I was happy, just worried, which I'm pretty sure he meant to include, but technically didn't.

"Okay. Just checking." He put his hands on either side of my head & kissed me on the forehead. "Alice will be furious."

"She'll get over it." I smiled up at him, showing I truly was happy. He caught sight & smiled slightly back at me.

I reached for the doorknob when Edward's hand slid underneath mine. He opened the door & gestured me inside. I walked inside & turned around to look at the door. Edward had not followed me.

"I _am_ going out with Emmett & Jasper so I _will_ see you later. Be safe."

"I'm with Alice. No harm can come from _that_." I smiled & turned only to be greeted by Alice.

"You knew I was waiting." She said very sternly, glaring at me with antagonism.

"Yes." I stated very clearly.

"Come on, we only have two hours."

"Alice, that's plenty of time."

"Aside from the hair, I would like you to try on your full wedding gown. Like a dress rehearsal." She smiled at me persuasively.

I sighed & began up the stairs. I walked into Alice's room only to see my gorgeous white dress, hanging in the wide open closet, shoes laid out underneath to match, a veil hanging beside the gown itself & a couple of arrangements of flowers laying on a table.

"First things first. Let's go into the dressing room & do your hair, then your make-up." She grabbed my hand & dragged me behind her.

When we entered the large room, the first thing I saw was a chair sitting in front of a large vanity with assorted brands & colors of make-up were spread out. She sat me down in the chair & began to brush my hair.

"Aren't you excited?" She asked conversationally.

"Of course." I tried to sound cheery.

"What's wrong?" Alice obviously spotted a flaw in my tone. She reached over me, grabbing a curling iron while waiting for a response from me.

I decided to let my guards down & confide in Alice.

"It's just worrisome thoughts." I tried to shrug it off. Maybe I could. I couldn't though.

Alice began to twist my hair around the hot iron.

"Like what?" She asked mindlessly. I could tell she expected _normal_ pre-wedding jitters.

"I'm worried about my last day with Charlie & Renee. I'm not sure how I will be after tomorrow. I'm worried that something will go wrong. I'm worried that… that maybe… That maybe this isn't right." The last one sounded absurd coming from my mouth.

Alice let the hair in the curling iron drop in shock. It felt like the world just came crashing down. She looked at me in the mirror.

"Bella, do you know what you're saying?" She asked me carefully, still staring at me in the mirror.

Tears began to roll down my face.

"Alice, I don't know what to do. I know I belong with Edward, I know I love him. He's _the_ one, the only one. But now just seems so wrong. There's something missing." I finally realized the one thing missing. The one thing key to show me everything was perfect. _He_ wasn't going to be there. I needed him there. He was practically my brother. He needed to be there. I realized how selfish this request was. How unbearable it would be for him there. I still missed him dearly. It wasn't that I didn't want him, it just wasn't the same way he wanted me.

Alice began to stroke my hair.

"What's missing? Can I help?" Alice sounded desperate. She wanted everything to be perfect. I knew she couldn't get _this_ for me. Anything was plausible, just not this, this, the one thing that I coveted.

"No. It's fine, I'll get along without it." I had to lie to myself. He wouldn't be there. I knew that for a fact. It didn't hurt to dream.

"Are you sure? You seem pretty shaken." She sounded astonished by my reaction. She looked down & began fiddling with my hair, twisting it & curling it around the hot iron.

"So, have you picked out the bridesmaid dresses for you & Rosalie?" I questioned her on a subject she couldn't refuse to talk about, hoping to start a conversation with her to fill the tense silence.

"Yes, I'll show you when I'm done with your hair & make-up." She sounded blank, probably thinking about the missing piece of the wedding.

Minutes passed in silence when suddenly there was a knock at Alice's door.

"Bella, Alice! Are you in there?" The voice I knew to be Rosalie called for us.

"Yes, we're both in the dressing room, Rosalie!" Alice called back to her. "On your way in, grab a bridesmaid dress & bring it in here please."

Rosalie walked in carrying a light rose-colored, floor-length dress in front of her. The dress was so simplistic, yet stunning.

"Rosalie, would you mind trying it on to make sure the measurements are right? I had to guess." Still working on my hair, Alice reached over me for a couple of bobby pins & shot a pleading look at Rosalie. Rosalie nodded & stepped behind the screen.

"Bella, you're going to look stunning when I'm done!" Alice had become more enthusiastic & I was glad.

Alice set the curling iron down & began to twist my hair around. I had the slightest idea of what she was doing, but couldn't see in the mirror.

Rosalie had stepped out from the screen & spun around, modeling the gown for Alice & me.

"Oh Rosalie!" Alice gasped, still holding my hair. "You look extravagant!"

Rosalie only added to the dress' beauty.

"Bella, what do you think?" Rosalie had asked in a curious manner.

"Rosalie, You look remarkable! I love it. Alice you have outdone yourself." I looked at both in the mirror, smiling softly. Rosalie & Alice both smiled back at me, which was extremely comforting.

"If you don't mind, I'm going to change back into my clothes. Do you need any help?" Rosalie's pleasant mood was making a lot of the stress go away, she seemed to calm me down.

"If you could, pick one of the bouquet arrangements in my room for Bella. She's got enough to do focus on the details. That is if you don't mind Bella." She looked up from behind my head & looked for my approval. I nodded. Rosalie stepped behind the screen once more & changed.

"Your hair is complete!" Alice spun the chair around, facing me sideways. I could see my hair pulled back in a bun, locks of curling hair bobbing down.

"You look gorgeous, Bella!" I was shocked to hear Rosalie. Alice smiled, content with her work.

My chair suddenly spun around once again.

"No time to gawk, make-up next!" Alice was thrilled, but followed her schedule precisely.

Rosalie walked past us, glancing once more at me before exiting the room. I could see her in Alice's room where she hung her dress up neatly & walked over to the table displaying five different arrangements of flowers.

Alice now appeared in front of me, holding a brush & a compact filled with a shade of blush.

"It would be great if we could give your cheeks a little color." She began waving the brush around my face, I sat with my eyes closed, thinking. What could Edward possibly have for me tonight? My mind began to wonder from the most frivolous things to the most peculiar subjects.

The brush was lifted from my face, I felt something under my eye.

"Open your eyes & look up. Hold very still, your eyes will be amazing!" Alice continued with the compliments. She started adding black eyeliner to me. I had never been so made up before. It felt… different.

"Blink." I let down my eyelid & up again.

"Okay, almost done, sit still for one more second." Alice got out a lipstick that was a light shade of pink, slightly darker than my own lip shade. Twisting the lipstick, it emerged from the tube. She gently let the lipstick glide across my lower lip, then across my upper lip.

"Press your lips together please." I did as she asked & smiled back at her. She took a step back gazing at me. I looked at myself in the mirror. I had to admit, though different, Alice had worked a miracle on me. I looked back at Alice who was now holding a long white gown.

"We only have about an hour, I would like you to practice going up & down the stairs a few times to save you from embarrassment. So please change quickly." I stood up & took the dress into my own hands. I hadn't realized how heavy the attire was. I walked swiftly over to the other side of the screen. I quickly slid off my own clothes & stepped into the white gown. I pulled it up & stepped out in front for Alice to see.

"Let me zip the back for you." Alice came to my aid & pulled the zipper up in the back for me. She gestured me to a stool in front of three mirrors. I walked over & stepped up on the stool. She knelt down in front of me, her hands gently slid down the dress, perfecting it. She stood up & stared at me. I gently turned & looked at myself in the mirror.

The long, white, satin dress was perfect. No other way to describe it. It was strapless & plane white with some vintage lace that Alice had added. I turned to see Alice with tears in her eyes.

"Alice, are you alright?" I asked, wondering what was wrong. If anything I thought she would be full of excitement.

"Yes. Everything is perfect." She looked at me quietly. "Bella, I just want your day to be perfect. Nothing will go wrong, so if you need anything, _anything_ at all! I will get it." She promised with such determination. I nodded.

"Damn it!" Alice left the room briefly & came back with white heels in her hands. She set them down in front of the stool.

"Alice, I'm going to kill myself walking down the stairs in these!" I protested the shoes, but she made me step into them. They weren't terrible, just felt very risky. Alice led me down the hallway, to the top of the staircase. I looked down, terrified of falling.

"I'm not going to let you fall. Just try to walk down gracefully & I'll be here if you fall." Alice reassured me it was ok to walk, & she was there to keep me safe. I felt like I was a toddler, learning to walk.

I lifted up the dress slightly & picked up my foot carefully. I slowly moved my foot down onto the next step with a sigh of relief following my foot on another solid platform. I continued to walk down the stares slowly & carefully. I reached the bottom, greeted with a smile from Alice & Esme.

"Alice, do you mind if I have a moment with Bella?" The soft soothing words came from Esme as she looked at me calmly.

"Sure." Alice looked to me," Bella, I'm going upstairs to talk with Rosalie. Come up when you're done."

I nodded & suddenly saw Alice disappear before my eyes. I turned to look at Esme.

"Bella, you look magnificent!" Esme stared at me in awe. I could feel my cheeks turning red in embarrassment.

"Thank you." I replied quietly, unsure of what she had asked to see me for.

"Bella, I'm really happy for you & Edward. I just wanted to give you something that was very special to me as a young girl." Esme held out in front of her a long black, velvet box. I took it into my hands & carefully lifted the top of the delicate box. Inside laid a small white gold chain with one heart dangling from the chain. She lifted the necklace up, showing it off in front of me.

"Esme, it's gorgeous. Are you sure you want me to have it?"

"Of course. It's a gift." She took the box from hands & gently lay the sparkling necklace down to lie. She handed the box back to me, I held it tightly in my grasp.

"Bella, this was mine when I was sixteen. My father gave it to me as a birthday present."

"Why are you giving it to me?"

"Because you deserve it. You have made a lot of decisions recently." I looked down at the box in my hands. Trying to decide what to make of the words. I conclusion that she would be like Rosalie, trying to talk me out of my decision to become a vampire, or like Emmett, thrilled that I was.

"Specifically your commitment to become one of us. I'm not saying I do not like or dislike your decision. I respect it, mainly because _you_ made the decision & not someone else.

"When I was young, I had received a marriage proposal from a young man named Charles Evenson. He appeared to be a fine man, but not for me.

"I had wanted to move west & become a school teacher, but my father didn't approve.

"He thought I would be better off with settling down with Charles & starting a family. Though it wasn't my decision, I eventually married Charles when I was twenty-two, but was not exactly proud.

"He was a very respectable man to the public eye, but at home was another story.

"When I confided in my parents, they counseled me to be a good wife, but made me swear to keep quiet of our marital problems.

"Soon he was drafted into the war, which was great relief upon me. I felt safe & secure, though it was short lived.

"Shortly after his return, I found out I was pregnant. I looked to this as my escape. I ran away to Milwaukee to live with a second cousin, but soon moved north when my parents learned of my location.

"I became a school teacher just outside of Ashland, pretending to be a war widow. When I gave birth to my baby, I learned he was born with a lung infection & died shortly after."

I could hear Esme's voice fill with sadness as she continued with her tragic story.

"I was heartbroken. I found no reason for life without a family or a child. I sought for a way out.

"I came across a cliff just outside of town one day & was tempted. I jumped & the rest was black from there.

"The next thing I remember was the pain, the burning feeling that ran through my body. I was relieved when I saw Carlisle.

"I had first met him when I lived in Columbus & I had fallen out of a tree & broken my leg & he was to treat it. He had left town later that month, but I had never forgot the care he had given me.

"I look back now & realize that life is about the decisions we make, effect our outlook on life. That is why I want you to realize the importance of every decision you make & the impact it has on your life. Not to say one decision has been wrong or right, but I want to give you awareness on the importance." I looked back into Esme's eyes with mixed emotions, unsure of what to feel. I took a step towards her & embraced her.

"Thank you." I whispered. I released her & realized how much time had passed.

"I better let you get back to Alice, I bet she's frantic."

"Yeah, probably."

I slipped off my shoes & carried them upstairs, feeling safer as I ventured the steps. I reached Alice's door & walked inside.

"Finally! It took forever for you to come upstairs. Look, we don't have much time, Edward is on his way home right now."

"What time is it?" I asked. Surely we had at least an hour left.

"Six forty-five. Get changed fast & bring everything back in here, I'll put it away while you're out."

I walked to the dressing room & changed promptly, taking the utmost care of everything. I lifted up the dress, feeling very hurried & frantic, I brought it into Alice's room, hanging it in the closet for her. I walked back into the dressing room, grabbing the shoes, when I glanced at myself in the mirror.

"Oh crap!" I said quietly to myself.

Alice was all about secrecy. She didn't want Edward to know anything about the wedding that concerned me. I _had_ to do something to hide this.

I ran back into Alice's room, set the shoes in the closet & shut the door. I looked around, no Alice to be found. I ran back into the dressing room & looked in the mirror. I put my hand in my hair, trying to pull out the several bobby pins, holding my hair together so perfectly. My hair fell down at the release of the last two pins. I set the pins down in the box she had got them from & looked for a tissue on the vanity. I _finally_ found a box & ripped one from the top. I gently turned the handle on the sink & let the water run slightly on top of the tissue. I turned the water off & wiped my face several times, before my face was finally clean. I looked at myself in the mirror. My face was slightly wet, my hair still partially curled, but all in all, I looked pretty normal. I walked calmly into Alice's room, to find that she still wasn't there.

I walked downstairs, where Alice met me at the bottom.

"Bella, he's around the corner. I'm glad to see you thought to take your make-up off & your hair down before your date."

"I did it just for you." I smiled brightly when I heard the door opening.

Edward was first to walk in with Jasper & Emmett following.

Edward walked over to me & kissed me on the forehead.

"I'm glad to see you're ok after two hours with Alice." He put one arm around my waist, in exchange I put one around his back.

"It wasn't _complete_ torture." I said jokingly, looking back towards Alice now in Jasper's arms.

"It was beneficial." Alice stated proudly.

Edward looked down at me with adoring eyes & his perfect, crooked smile.

"Let's go. I've got one surprise before we leave." He said as a matter of fact.

"Really?" I asked in a voice of disbelief.

"Yes."

"And what might that be?" I asked very calmly.

"You're driving." He said, still with a smile.


	2. Surprises

"What do you mean I'm driving!" I asked in shock. When in a million years would he let _me_, the terribly slow driver get behind the wheel?

"You're taking us on a drive tonight." He said coolly looking back at me, obviously hiding something.

"Come on, let's go outside." He suggested, slightly pulling at my waist, eager to move towards the door.

I began to walk with him, he reached in front of us, pulling the door open for me. He gestured for me to go in front as he closed the door behind him. I walked into the garage & stopped dead in my tracks.

"What the hell is this Edward?" I sounded confused, yet enraged at the same time. I knew exactly what he was going to do. And I was about to let him do it.

"Nothing much. Just my wedding present to you." He leaned against the shiny silver car.

"I don't want a car, especially a brand new sports car. You know I love my truck dearly." I tried to convince him this was all wrong for me.

"Remember our compromise?" He asked, his voice soothing.

He walked towards me, I turned around to look away from the overpriced car. His arms wrapped around me from behind, his lips touched the side of my neck so softly.

"No strings attached, remember?" I countered him. He kissed my neck again.

"None at all. A car was part of our deal at the time though. I figured if I'm giving you everything you _do_ want, you should get something _I_ want you have." His breath hit my ears like the cool air on a winter day. A shiver ran through my body. He began to persuade me. He knew he already had me.

"So, there's no getting out of this is there?"

"Not a chance." He turned me around, still holding me close. I looked up at him, my hands on his chest. His smile shone so bright in the dim garage.

He kissed me on the forehead & studied my face.

"Are you actually smiling?"

"Yes, because I'm with you. It's not because of the cool car or anything." He laughed slightly, I could feel his body move against my head, now lying against his marble chest.

"So what exactly is the name of this car?" I asked cluelessly. I had no idea what this car was or how fast it went, I just knew that it was expensive.

"It's a Porsche Carrera GT." I stared at him blankly.

"It's top of the line." He said flatly.

"Well of course. Look at the other cars sitting in your garage." He threw me questioning look.

"Well, get in." He held the door open & gestured me into the driver's seat. I began to walk around the front of the car slowly.

"What if I wreck it?" I asked nervously.

"I trust you." He said, smiling.

"Maybe a little too much. You overestimate my luck." I said as I sat in the car. He closed the door & suddenly appeared on my left.

"You wont do this car any harm." He kissed me on the cheek.

I started the car & began to pull out. I was terribly nervous, because knowing Edward, this was going to be one of the fastest cars on the planet. I barely accelerated going down the road. I could feel Edward's gaze burning a whole in the side of my head.

"What now?" I asked impatiently.

"Bella, you're going slower than you go in your truck."

"Then you drive." I offered up a reasonable solution to the speed of the car.

"It's your gift. I want you to enjoy it. For me?" He asked as he saw the trouble I was having enjoying my gift.

"Where to?" I asked, caving in.

"Our spot." He said smiling, obviously pleased with himself.

I gradually accelerated the car, trying to keep it reasonable. We were almost there.

"Do you not like it?" He asked quietly as we continued on the highway.

"That's not it." I said, focusing on the road while trying to keep a nice speed.

"I heard Esme talked to you." His voice still quiet, yet like music.

"Yes."

"You don't have to do anything you don't want, Bella. Including this. No strings remember?" I listened to the words he spoke. I wasn't going to back out now.

"I am though."

"Only if it's your decision." He added as we stopped along the edge of the forest.

Edward was instantly at the door to my aide. I stepped out & walked to the forest, gazing out into the green.

Edward appeared in front of me, studying my face.

"What's wrong? Do you want to go home?" I shook my head no & walked towards him. He lifted me onto his back & started to run. Just as I had got comfortable & laid my head on his back, we were there, in the very meadow where we had so many memories.

He had gently let go of my legs, letting me slide down his back. He turned to look at me, my arms still locked around his neck. I stared back into the golden gaze & gave a weak smile.

I felt something lift me off my feet & in that split second, we were both on the ground, lying next to each other.

I broke the gaze & stared up at the trees, no light shone through. I could feel his eyes, still looking at me. I knew he wanted to ask me something, something that he had been avoiding.

"Are you sure this is all right? Right for you." He asked quietly, pain flowing through his voice.

I ignored the question, still gazing up at the trees. Was there really any question to the decision? I knew what I was doing, consequences & all. Why was he suddenly questioning me?

He wrapped his arms around me, pulling my head onto his chest.

"Bella, please?" He whispered softly into my ear.

"Edward-"I began to argue as he cut me off.

"Bella, I think I need to know if you are regretting this. Just tell me what's on your mind, my love." His voice was now very seductive. The voice I could not resist.

"You promised you would tell me later." He reminded me.

"If it was still bothering me." I said coolly.

"It is though."

"You don't know that." I didn't want to tell him I was only like this because of Jacob. Because I knew something was wrong. He hadn't called me since we last spoke. Charlie hadn't even mentioned him.

"If you don't tell me yourself, I'll figure it out on my own." He threatened, still smiling.

"You mean from Alice." I said, very annoyed. I looked up at his eyes, his smiling glowing. I let out a sigh.

"You know don't you." I knew he did, there was no questioning in my voice.

His face became more serious, the smile wiped away.

"Why didn't you tell me you were concerned?" He asked obviously hurt.

"Because it's not something you need to worry about." I said confidently. There was no fighting me there.

"And if it was?" He asked questioning my answer.

"Why would it be?" What did he mean by that? Why would he need to be concerned?

"I don't want you to have to carry all of the burdens. Share them with me." I studied his face for a moment. He started to smile again, hoping I would too. So I did.

"So is this why you brought me here? To try to take the burden off?"

"No. That's our next stop. I brought you here because I wanted to talk, to figure you out."

"And did you?" I asked curiously. I didn't want him to pry deeper. Nothing good could come from it.

"Not completely." I frowned at the answer & shifted my head. My head lay on his chest, my eyes closed as I waited for the next round of questions hit me like a bus.

"I know you've been avoiding the subject, but do you know for sure that you are making the right choice? Choosing me, knowing what you're giving up?" This was not what I was expecting. The words knocked the wind out of me, possibly more than a bus would have.

I didn't move. I lay there still, like stone. My breathing had stopped momentarily.

He sat up alert, his hands catching my head.

"Bella, are you ok?" His voice was in panic. I didn't know what to say, what to do.

"Bella! Breathe!" He commanded. I suddenly heard the voice from the black sea of cold.

"Bella!" He shouted once more, gently shaking me. I sat up clinging to him.

"Bella." He moved his hand against my back in circles.

I didn't know what to say back to him. I knew he was the one. Why didn't he know that?

"Edward, why are you asking?"

"I don't want you to have regrets." Of course it was in the best intentions, but it still hurt.

"I don't." I whispered softly into his chest. His hand was still moving gently.

"Let's go." He pulled us both to our feet, my hands still locked behind his back.

I pulled my hand away slightly, letting my eyes meet his.

"Where?"

"Somewhere to make you feel better." He said now smiling.

He helped me onto his back as he ran. It seemed to take forever to get to the car. Once we had got there, he set me down & opened the door. I got in slowly & buckled my seatbelt. He was going to drive this time.

I laid my head against the cool window as he started the engine.

The ride was quiet, our eyes never meeting. After a few minutes I realized where we were going & groaned.

"What's wrong?" Edward immediately asked in desperation.

"Why are we going to Charlie's?"

"Because he can make you feel better." Edward said in his persuasive voice. I tried to avoid his eyes. I could not resist melting into them.

"No, he can't. He's probably all sappy right now because of tomorrow." I argued, trying to convince him otherwise.

"You don't know that." He was right.

"So why can't you tell me what will cheer me up?" Still looking for a way out of Charlie's house.

"Because I don't know all the details." He sped up as we turned onto my street.

I sat & waited quietly for him to pull into the driveway.

I jumped out as soon as the car stopped hoping to get this over with as soon as humanly possible.

Edward stopped in front of me before I tore through the door.

"Calm down, my Bella." He said soothingly as he grabbed my shoulders.

I tried to be calm, but I really didn't want to be here today.

Edward put his arm around my waist, pulling me towards him.

I reached for the door & pushed it open.

"It's me!" I announced as I entered. I expected to see Charlie sitting in front of the television, watching a game, but he wasn't.

"Dad?" I called.

"Bells?" Charlie shouted from the kitchen.

Edward & I walked slowly into the kitchen to see Charlie on the phone, holding his index finger up to his mouth. I nodded & looked up at Edward.

He was fairly quiet & emotionless. His face was blank, obviously thinking.

"Well let me know if you hear anything. I'll keep an eye out for anything suspicious. Bye." Charlie hung up the phone & turned to me. Edward's arm dropped as Charlie walked towards me arms open wide. I wrapped my arms around him, holding him tightly. He released me & stepped back.

"It's nice to see you Bella." Charlie said fairly pleased, a puzzled expression on his face.

"Yeah. I just came by to check on you. What's up?" I tried to lead him to whatever Edward was talking about.

"Nothing really. It's been pretty quiet since you've moved out, to tell you the truth."

"Who was that on the phone just now?" I wondered if this was key or simply pointless.

"That was Billy." No surprise. Probably planning a fishing trip or something.

"Why. Is something wrong?"

"Oh, nothing just curious. Why _is_ something wrong?" I prompted him as best as I could.

"Well nothing major." Charlie drifted away.

"What time do I need to come tomorrow?"

"Dad! What's wrong?" I didn't notice my voice exceptionally loud.

"Bella, it's nothing. Please calm down." That was the last thing I wanted to hear. 'Calm down'. How could I calm down knowing something was wrong?

"Look, Billy just called to say that Jacob's been gone for awhile, well longer than expected, & told me to keep an eye out. Sam Uley said hat he didn't want anyone to look for him, but Billy's getting worried." Another bus hit me. I had to stay calm though. I couldn't react like I did earlier. Not in front of Charlie.

I stared aimlessly at the floor. Why? Why now? Was something wrong within the pack? I had about a million questions & possibilities running through my head right now, but he only needed one reason to leave.

"Bells?" Charlie asked. Edward squeezed my side, trying to pull me out the trance.

"Why? Why did he leave? Was it because of me?" I couldn't figure it out. Didn't he know how this would hurt me? He couldn't expect me to never find out.

"It wasn't anything really. Jake just up & out left one day. It was about 2 or 3 weeks ago."

"He's been gone. For 3 weeks. No one has looked! I broke from Edward's hold & walked towards the door.

"Bella!" Edward called after me. How was _this_ supposed to make me feel better? Sure I knew where Jacob was, anywhere but his house, but it made me uneasy.

I stormed through the door & ripped open the door of the Porsche. I was not surprised at all to see Edward in the driver's seat before I even sat down.

"Edward move!" I growled.

"No." He said calmly.

"Edward-"

"Bella, you are overreacting-"

"And you don't!"

"Bella, just go back in there & calm down."

"Why because it will make me feel better?" I couldn't contain my rage. I felt bad about taking it out on Edward, but he stood in my way of finding Jake.

"Bella-" He began to plead with me.

I turned toward the street & began to walk.

"Where are you going Bella?" Edward asked, trying to stay calm.

"To La Push." I answered confidently.

Edward started the car & pulled out of the driveway, now pulling alongside of me.

"What makes you think that?" He asked.

"Edward you don't get it!"

"What if you couldn't see him?" I stopped in my tracks.

"Why?" I whispered, avoiding Edward's eyes.

"Bella, you can't run after everyone when you are a vampire."

"But I'm not." My voice was shaky.

"You will be in one week. If you still want to be, that is." I turned to look at him. He had a questioning look on his face.

I walked to the car & opened the door. I sat down quietly in the passenger's seat. As soon as the light went off that glowed above our heads, I laid my head against his shoulder. Tears began to roll down my face.

"Bella, everything is okay." He tried to comfort me. I sat up & looked at him.

"Tell me where Jacob is."

"Bella, be reasonable."

"You know."

"He doesn't want to be found. That's what he told the pack."

"Please. I need to know he is safe. I need to know he is happy. Please." I begged. One thing I needed to know was that he was happy, without me.

"He's safe." Edward turned away from me & accelerated the car.

"Edward." I murmured. He ignored me. "Edward!" I shouted his name now. The car came to a screeching halt in front of his house. His eyes now met mine with a fierce glare.

"Bella, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to hunt down the dog just so you can be with him?" I didn't realize I was making him this jealous.

"Edward-" I began to whisper.

"Bella, I can't. I want to make you happy, but I can't do that." I understood him completely. I just wanted to know Jacob was safe. Was happy, without me.

"Bella," He whispered, putting his icy hands against my red cheeks. "I would love to tell you he's safe & happy, but no one's happy without you." It was me, I made Jake runaway.

"It wasn't you though." He said softly, pressing his forehead against mine, our noses met. "It was me, it was my fault he left."

"Edward, you can't blame yourself every time something happens to me that is not pleasing." I wanted to laugh because he did. He felt he had not protected me well enough.

"But if it was my fault, you would let me take the blame. Right?" He said as he gently slid his head down against my cheek, his lips met me throat. He began kissing my neck. My hand cradled his head against me.

"But it's not." I kissed his head & let him continue kissing my neck.

My hand was still holding his head, pulling his head up, closer to my face, his lips touching my cheek. He pulled away. I sighed.

"But it is." I gently pushed him away.

"What do you mean Edward?" My voice now sounding angered.

"I let him know we were getting married." He said, now looking down at his lap. I continued to search for his face in the darkness, looking for an expression.

"He already knew that." I said, denying that Edward could do anything wrong.

I didn't want troubles to arise. Not now. Not ever. He tilted his head where the lights from the house hit his eyes, sparkling.

"I know." He looked at me dead in the eyes. "I told him he was welcome to come to the wedding." His face instantly took shame.

"But he overreacted. He had no reason to run away." I tried to calm him, my hand stroking back his hair, away from his forehead. I leaned in to kiss him, but he pulled away, pushing my hand back.

"Bella, you are too forgiving. I just drove away one of your friends & you will not blame me for anything." I ignored him & leaned in again, this time, my lips made contact with his neck. I placed my hands behind his neck, holding him in place. He pushed me away once more.

"Bella." He let out a deep sigh. I know he wanted me to be somewhat angry with, but I couldn't. I couldn't blame him for this.

"Edward."

"You aren't mad at me at all. Why not?" His face now blank.

"Just forget about it." I tried to do the same. I couldn't fill my mind with Jacob. We hadn't seen each other in over a month. Why should I care that he left me when I was ready to leave him in a week?

I was ready for rejection again, but I pushed myself on Edward. My heart raced as I laid my body on top of his, my hands locked behind his neck, my lips against his neck.

Edward's reaction was delayed. He placed his hands behind my neck gently. I raised my head up to his lips & kissed him once. I pulled my head back slightly & looked at his expression.

His face was vacant, his mind elsewhere.

"What's wrong?" I asked, still holding onto him. He did not respond.

"Edward?" I asked again.

"You treat me too well. At least tell me your reasoning for forgiveness so soon." He spoke quietly & gently.

"I just can't hold onto him any longer." It was true no matter how much I wanted to. "I was about to leave him, I understand him wanting to be the one to make that decision." I wouldn't want to be left. I knew that was too true. I remembered my last birthday. I couldn't say that part out loud. I could already see the painful expression if I had.

He looked at me & I could tell he understood. He pulled my head to his chest as I let myself bury my face in his chest. His arms held me close in a sense of security.

He opened up the door & carried me to the door.

The door opened without his arms moving, I could tell that Alice was probably there, awaiting our arrival.

"Shh." He whispered to Alice as we entered the house. I dozed off while in his arms, but slightly awoke when he set me down on the golden bed in our room.

"I'm sorry I woke you, Bella. Please, go back to sleep. You're exhausted after a long day." He brushed my hair out of my face & draped the covers over us. He lay behind me, his arms holding us together.

I let me head rest. I _was_ tired. I closed my eyes as he began to hum my lullaby softly.

The sun shone through the south window. I squinted my eyes as I sat up. I expected to be greeted by Edward, but he wasn't there.

"Rise & shine!" Alice exclaimed as she walked into the room. "I've been waiting forever for you to completely wake up. Edward told me I couldn't wake you until eight, but I was about to cheat."

"Where did he go?" I was completely confused. All thoughts escaped my head.

"To get ready." Alice said simply, I felt like I was missing out on something. I thought hard about what Edward could possibly be doing.

"What for?" I finally asked. Alice's mouth gaped open in surprise.

"Bella, do you have amnesia or something?" She asked me in a joking voice.

"Alice, I seriously don't have any idea what you are talking about."

"Bella," She spoke quietly." Today is your wedding day." I wanted to scream. I couldn't believe I forgot today. The day.

I jumped out of the bed & ran down the hall to Alice's room, into her enormous bathroom. I turned on the hot water in the shower, letting it run as I grabbed some clothes from the closet. When I ran back into the bathroom frantically Alice stopped me.

"What time is it?" I gasped.

"Don't worry, we have plenty of time."

"How much?"

"A couple of hours. Take your time. Esme & Rosalie are downstairs decorating the backyard. Edward, Emmett, Jasper & Carlisle are in Emmett's room getting ready." She was actually being exceptionally calm today.

"Let me get showered then you can play with my hair & make-up." I jumped in & out of the shower quickly. As soon as I was dressed, Alice appeared in her room again. She guided me back into the bathroom in front of the vanity.

"You're hair looks wonderful!"

"It must have been all of that hairspray." I laughed quietly.

"Well I don't have to re-curl your hair, but I have to do your make-up." Alice pulled a few bobby pins from the box & pulled up my hair in the same amazing twist as yesterday.

She moved onto my make-up, applying it quickly & quietly. I could tell she was seeing something by the troubled expression on her face.

Her cell phone vibrated on the vanity in front of me. I picked it up before she could say anything.

"Alice?" Edward's voice was flat.

"Nope." A smile now covered my face. I was sure he would be happy to talk to me now since he felt no obligation to be with me when I awoke this morning.

"Give the phone to Alice." I handed the phone to Alice. The smile was wiped off my face.

I didn't understand what was going on. Alice now stood up from the chair that sat in front of me & rushed into her room as I could hear the low murmur in the phone. Her face was blank now as she listened.

"I don't know. Can you hear anything?" I could barely hear her voice. "Hold on." She said into the phone. "Bella is trying to eavesdrop." She spoke a bit louder to drop a hint.

"I wouldn't have to if you guys would ever include me!" I shouted back to her. She let out a sigh & spoke a few quiet words into the word & closed it promptly.

"Come here. I've got to fix your hair a little." She avoided the phone conversation as if it had never happened. She played with my hair for a moment & darted back into her room to grab my dress. She passed me by & hung it on the screen behind us.

"That's there for you to change into. The shoes are in my closet. I'll be back in a moment." She was gone before I had a chance to ask questions.

I changed silently. I tried to figure out what had happened. What did Edward hear? What did Alice see?

I had actually managed to zip the dress completely up while my attention was diverted. I walked slowly into Alice's room & over to the closet. I saw the shoes where I had thrown them yesterday. I reached for them & saw the charm bracelet dangling from my wrist.

That was it.

Next to the shoes I saw Esme's necklace. I picked it up along with shoes & sat down. I slipped the shoes on & put the necklace around my neck, letting it hang down into the dress.

I decided to go down to talk to Esme. I walked into the hallway, as I passed Emmett's door I heard it.

"What did you see?" It was Edward's frantic voice that I heard.

"Nothing." Alice spoke softly. "Everything just disappeared. Did you hear anything this morning?"

"Nothing." Edward sounded helpless.

"Jacob." His name escaped from my mouth quietly.


End file.
